My Blog Has Been Hijacked

MUM.
MUM.
FFFF, HOLYCRAPMUM.
HEY.
YEAH.
EARTH TO MOTHERBOARD.
My world spun in spasmic circles and my head flopped awkwardly like a doll's.
My daughter stopped shaking me and was making That Face as she tore from the computer and my hands the many cobwebs that had accumulated whilst the latter had hung in suspense over my keyboard.
My head turned slowly, and it ached after not having moved since –enter last date you blogged here-, and a goofy grin lit up my face.
"LOL I SHOULD TOTALLY BLOG ABOUT THIS."
~ written by Haillie
Haillie said I was due for a blog post but I seem to have a bad case of ADD and unable to sit here and focus.
So when I blog that today …
I made coffee.
I gardened.
I did laundry.
Haillie says …
NAY. I WILL NOT HAVE THIS.
I concocted a luxurious and intoxicating brew comprising of the finest coffee beans to ever grace the filter, and the base for all life, H2O.
I tilled the land utilizing only my bare hands and a hoe (lol, I said hoe). I vanquished and annihilated all shrubbery and unnecessary wild growths.
With all my force, I shoved the stained and hideously pungent garments into the quadrangle mouth that opened up to swallow them. I wrenched the knobs to their respective places, subjugating them to intense pressure, and was swiftly off from that place, trying to forget it ever occurred.